Bosses are lifelong teenagers: Lessons from raising one
Last week, my teenage daughter reflected on the strike in Belgium and casually said, “Oh, these politicians really don’t know what they’re doing or what they’re talking about.” It got me thinking.
She’s at that age where, rather than seeking to understand the why and how, it’s easier for her to project and blame. This is understandable as she is in the midst of finding her own identity, figuring out what she stands for (and if she even does), while shaping her worldview. And honestly, I see the same projection and blame in conversations about workplace culture and management.
Now, that got serious, quick. #SorryNotSorry
Too often, when we, the adults, talk about toxic work environments, we are quick to point fingers and talk about how bad bosses and broken systems are the only problem. While there’s truth in that, the harder (and far less convenient) part is introspection—self-reflection on how we show up, where we realise we need to do better and can do better, and what we need to unlearn.
That’s exactly why A Better Brussels exists—not as a space where we claim to have all the answers, but as one where we figure it out together.
It’s a space where imperfect beings—us included—learn by doing.
We consciously work on it by trying, by making mistakes, and by opening our doors to those policy folks, legal experts, and comms pros with a tiny bit of self-awareness who ask themselves the question, “How can I be a better boss?” or even become a leader…
Even if it’s just a small group of people in our little policymaking space who understand that managing and supporting a team is less about expertise and more about self-awareness, adaptability, and the willingness to grow as a people manager, I am fine.
So much of being a boss, I guess isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about constantly refining our approach in the midst of overflowing responsibilities. It’s about managing uncertainty, making decisions with imperfect information, and staying open to learning—especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Like my daughter, it is as much about “Oh, these bosses really don’t know what they’re doing or what they’re talking about” as it is about “What can I do better? What kind of leader do I want to be? What if I had all this power my boss has? What would I do differently?”
That's what I think about when building “A Better Brussels.”. Not as your usual Brussels-style, perfection-projecting campaign, movement, or organisation.
I do my best to refrain from writing about what’s right or only about what others should do. I try my best to live the reality of people management, with all its messiness and contradictions, and try to communicate from that space—not from a pedestal, but from the trenches.
And so far, from the number of people reaching out to me and our ambassadors, I can confidently say that Brussels’ policymaking space is filled with incredible people—people who are happy to be lifelong teenagers figuring out the people management space—still learning, still figuring it out, and hopefully, getting a little better at it every day.
