Last week, my teenage daughter reflected on the strike in Belgium and casually said, “Oh, these politicians really don’t know what they’re doing or what they’re talking about.”

It got me thinking.

Aren’t so many of us just like her—still learning, still figuring it out how to be better bosses, in all its glory and messiness?

Brussels is full of smart, ambitious people trying to make a difference, and that’s exactly what makes this city exciting—and exhausting. Some days, it feels like you’re swimming against the tide: never-ending deadlines, impossible expectations, feedback that stings. But is your workplace truly toxic, or are you just experiencing the growing pains of building your expertise?

If you’ve endured a toxic work environment and are stepping into a new role, first, let me say this: you are brave. Surviving and moving on from such an experience is no small feat. Starting fresh can be both empowering and daunting. Here are some thoughts to help you navigate this transition with empathy for yourself and those around you.

As a growing number of people connect with A Better Brussels, I thought it would be helpful to put into words what guides this initiative. I am always mindful that one initiative cannot fix everything, and I am grateful that others exist.

A few promises I have made to myself.

I got it. You have received the tools that we produced in response to the requests expressed during our listening sessions. But you're having trouble figuring out how to bring up the question, "Am I a toxic boss?! self-assessment” created for self-reflection.

It can be intimidating, particularly in a stressful review meeting. I hear you.

When I began hosting listening sessions, a few voices stood out—people who truly grasped the importance of the issue at hand. Among them was Bryn Watkins, whose determination to shift the burden of change onto perpetrators rather than victims left a lasting impression. During a recent chat, I asked Bryn what makes our policy-making space prone to toxic workplace behaviours. He had this to say.

Over the last three months, "A Better Brussels" brought together people from across the EU policy world to look into how bosses in our policymaking space create safe, seen, and supported workplaces so that we can all deliver our best work and potentially make Brussels a shining example for others.

Brussels' policymaking space is a land of events. We host panels and pat ourselves on the back for recruiting high-level speakers who get 5 minutes to talk on a panel that we badly wanted to avoid having all men on. We know something is amiss but what.

Brussels’ policymaking is a space brimming with people from across Europe, all vying for opportunities in a highly niche environment. Yet, no matter your seniority we often face similar challenges, particularly when it comes to interview assessments—those time-consuming assignments that are unpaid work. And here’s the conversation I keep coming back to: I wish more of us are bold enough to flip the script.

During this October’s listening session, we set out to talk about leadership responsibilities, however, attendees brought their own agenda—rich with opinions, ideas, and challenges that stretched beyond the planned discussion. I figured a quick summary just wouldn’t cut it, so giving you a glimpse at my 'Dear Diary' entry instead—it's a heartfelt look back at the day.

In a city like Brussels, where policymaking and power play intersect, the concept of being a boss stretches far beyond the confines of routine tasks. So, what does it actually mean to be a standout boss in our very special environment?

You might be thinking, "Great, Shweta, just add 'good boss' to my never-ending list of roles—somewhere between unpaid check-out assistant at my grocery store (now that its primarily self-checkout) and chief content officer of my household (as I juggle helicopter parenting of what my kids consume online)." I get it; your unpaid work plate is overflowing. 

During the last A Better Brussels listening session, I was struck by how easily many of us deflected blame for poor people management onto team members who are merely fulfilling their roles.

What Brussels leaders need to know about employees who speak up or take legal action

it's clear what genuinely good workplaces value: environments in which employees thrive with clear roles, responsibilities, and boundaries.

A profoundly personal and challenging journey

To stay sane, embrace the art of staying unbothered.

About this scene where Ken is feeling completely lost because his entire identity is dependent on Barbie's approval.

The incredible power of women when they have their backs in high-stress, high-achieving workplaces.

Organisations seeking to make a genuine impact in today's fast-paced and interconnected world recognise the value of diverse perspectives.

As Brussels prepares to slow down beginning next week, many will take a well-deserved time off—a time for reflection.